Looking back: 3 Revitalization Reflections
We are entering a new season at our church. A season where we are not a church revitalization in the technical sense, though every church needs revitalization in some areas. What I mean is we have moved from unhealthy into a place of general health. God has been gracious and kind to us. With that has come some reflection over my time here. Joy and thanksgiving when I think about where we were to where we are now. Greater confidence in God’s word as I’ve seen the simple power of the gospel and the word of God change people over the years. But, over the years this reflection has also exposed areas of unbelief in my own heart. That unbelief has largely manifested itself in times of difficulty, tension, and conflict. We have had our share of all three over the nine years I’ve been here, and what I’ve noticed is that many times, my response was one of despair and fear.
Looking back from here are three lessons I have learned through this process.
It’s not as bad as it seems.
All pastors know that feeling that comes from some kind of conflict or issue. We sit up and play out all possible scenarios. We fret and worry. We imagine the ruin that this particular problem will produce and work ourselves up even more. The issues and struggles we’ve faced run the gamut, including theological disagreement, pastoral sin issues and elder qualification issues, church bosses, angry church members threatening to fire or leave, division in the body, my own immaturity in elevating things beyond where they should have been and my own frustrations boiling over into sermons and many more.
On the other side, I can look back and smile realizing they were never as bad as I made them out to be. In those moments of tension and conflict, my own unbelief and immaturity has manifested in not thinking with sober judgment (1 Peter 5:8). Those imaginary dragons never formed and turned out to be real. Sure, there were seasons of difficulty. There were times when things seemed to be going downhill. We have had people leave. We have had small groups of people leave. We have had tense and contentious elder meetings and member meetings. Yet things were never as bad as I initially thought they were.
The best thing I have learned is at times it really is as simple as just go to bed and get some sleep. I am often my own worst enemy. I am finite and fallible. Getting a good night’s rest does two things. First, it recalibrates the mind so you can engage again fresh and rested which often puts things into proper perspective. Second, it’s an act of trust and worship. If Matthew 6:25-33 is true of Christians outside of ministry, it is also true of pastors. It takes trust in God to go to sleep when things appear to be falling apart. It takes trust to practically confess your dependence upon him and your limitations by going to sleep. Tackle it again in the morning. You will think clearer and be recalibrated to engage the problem in a way that honors God.
God is sovereign in his timing and care for his church.
All of the issues I’ve experienced were not solved by my great ideas, wisdom, or insight. Looking back it is really clear that they were solved by God’s sovereign power in his sovereign timing. There have been many issues where I looked at them and I honestly didn’t see a way forward. There were other issues where I saw a way forward. In both cases, I can honestly say that the issues were addressed in ways I could not have imagined or brought about. Looking back, we can see more clearly God’s grace and sovereignty at work in ways that are obscured when you are in the moment. This is not saying that it is not important to act wisely, obey and apply Scripture and all of the rest of it when walking through difficult situations. It is saying that God sovereignly works all things for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
Moreover, the means God uses to bring about his sovereign purposes is his word and the obedience of faith. However, there have been many times where it seemed an issue was insurmountable and even by obeying God’s word, I didn’t see how it would turn out or there was a lack of clarity and agreement in how to properly apply God’s word among the elders and things seemed stalled with no way out. Over and over again I have seen God work in and through those situations to bring a solution that I could never have dreamed of. Too often I believe it rested upon me to bring resolution. That’s not true. That’s unbelief. My role is faithfulness trusting him and he is the one who brings about the resolution and his is always better than mine.
My reflex should be to look to him.
These types of situations of conflict and division are sown by the enemy and his aim is always to take our focus away from Christ. It’s always to tempt us to place our faith in something or someone else. When we don’t look to Christ and keep focused on him, we are unable to lay aside our own sin that clings so closely to us and we lack endurance (Hebrews 12:1-2). The times of greatest discouragement and despondent attitude in my own heart were also times when my focus had shifted (often subtly) away from him. After all, there is a problem. I should focus on the problem. Therein lies the irony. The problems we face in the church are a direct result of a lack of focus on and faith in Christ. Every. Single. One. The solution is not to administer more of the poison. The solution is to administer the cure.
If I can see that these church issues and conflicts are always a result of a lack of focus on Christ, then my reflex should be to focus on Christ. It is through beholding him that we are changed from one degree of glory to another (2 Cor 3:18). And so if I am to have the love and patience I need, if I am to have the wisdom I need, if I am to die to self like I need to, if I am to be able to preach the word in season and out of season, I must begin with remaining focused on Christ that he might change me to be more like him. Unbelief causes us to shift our focus from Christ. Belief and particularly belief expressed in humble, dependent repentance comes from focusing on Christ.
I still struggle with unbelief. Our people will still struggle with unbelief. Conflict will still happen, even in generally healthy churches, because of the fact that we are sinners. So brother pastor, when those times come up, remember, things are not that bad. Get some sleep. God works sovereignly and powerfully. Rest in his sovereign care, and don’t allow your focus to shift from Christ.